Apr 23, 2011


         Have you been going to bed with rollers in your hair or wearing an old nightdress to sleep in saving it for Christmas Eve or Independence Day, wondering why your husband drops off to sleep the moment he gets into bed? In a sentence, you have become boring and predictable. Yes, it is up to both of you to keep things exciting, but a smart woman knows the little things to keep her man coming back to her.

Marriage is work. You can’t let it meander into nothingness where the two of you look at one another and wonder if this is what you signed up for. Some people are content with boredom. They simply need a place to stay where there is someone cooking and cleaning and doing the laundry, and they are not highly-sexed beings where making love once in three months is a problem.

For all those other women who want to kick their flagging love life into gear, here are some simple things you can do:

Throw out those boring little track pants suits and sweaters you think are so cute and wear in the house. Did you ever see Mary in the old “Dick Van Dyke” shows in sweat pants?

Brush your teeth just before he gets home and put on a dash of lipstick. If it is summer, get yourself a sexy short dress and give him a little squeeze when you greet him at the front door. Men don’t have to do all the work. It also heightens excitement when the woman is in charge. Your husband will wonder what’s happened to you, but will like it nevertheless.

Shock him when you are in bed together and show him the magazine you have bought. You are not into porn or any bestiality, but an occasional tease read is all right between the two of you and helps with stimulation.

Chuck out your high-waist bloomers and go to a love craft shop together and buy some red hot panties and underwear. If your partner likes this new approach, get a pair of handcuffs the next time. This is not recommended if you have lost the key and should only be done with a partner you can trust; every new trick in moderation.

One night put on a nurse’s uniform and wear a stethoscope around your neck and play doctor and nurse. Another night play high-school girl and leave him a condom on the pillow and pretend to be seventeen.

Learn to do something you have never done before with anyone – women know what that is – and shock your husband into high gear and into taking a new look at you. Have a little mystery. Be appetizing rather than sluttish. Take your partner’s hand and show him what you want. Go for a new record and have sex five times a week.


         You absolutely can lose weight with avocado. How I happened to try it was when the high protein shake I was on ran out after three weeks and I decided to come up with my own version of a smoothie while waiting for the agent to arrive with my new supply. The protein shake was supposed to be taken twice a day with skim milk and half a banana or a slice of pineapple mixed with the high protein powder together in a blender, replacing the morning and afternoon meals.

The agent didn’t arrive and I came up with my new version which included a cup of soya milk, a small avocado and half a banana, in the blender. I would blend it until it was nice and thick, and would eat it spoon by spoon so it would last long. I was told by the agent that I shouldn’t eat more than one avocado a week as I would put on weight. I decided that I liked the avocado so much that I would cut out all breads, flour, rice, potatoes, noodles, sugar – although there is sugar in fruit – and would have my big meal at lunch which would be a big salad with strips of red pepper and sprinkled Balsamic vinegar, with a piece of fish or chicken breast, nicely marinated with hot spice. I also had two snacks a day, either a handful of walnuts, almonds or cashew nuts, or a fruit – not a banana. I drank plenty of water.

To find out more about the avocado I went on the internet and found several sites on the benefits of eating this fruit. Avocados provide nearly twenty essential nutrients, including fiber, potassium, Vitamin E and B and folic acid. It helps to lower blood cholesterol and promotes healthy cell and tissue development. In the body, potassium is classified as an electrolyte. It is a very important mineral to the human body and has various roles in metabolism and body functions necessary for the building of muscle and for normal body growth.

I weighed myself at the beginning and decided not to get on the scale every day, but once a week in the morning after urinating, but before breakfast. I had tried all kinds of eating plans before, but none of them included smoothies or the kind of snacks I liked, and the most I lost was a half a kilo after three weeks. After just one week on my avocado plan, I lost half a kilo. After another week, I lost another kilo. I am only four weeks into my new eating plan and I have lost three kilos so far. I am not losing weight fast, but the weight is going. I should say, however, that if you eat chocolate or cake, and cheat with rice or bread, this plan is not going to work. It would be better then to stop the smoothies and go back to eating the way you did, but still cut out unnecessary carbohydrates, sugar, chips and soft drinks.

For those who are really interested in dropping unwanted pounds, two smoothies, a healthy lunch with salads, and two snacks should be sufficient for the day. A calcium supplement and a multivitamin every day would boost your energy levels. If you stick to this plan and love avocado, this is the way to go. Check out all the Mediterranean foods you can prepare with avocado; it is used for guacamole and can be used in many other ways.


You’ve just started a new job as the youngest member of a legal team in a posh downtown office. One of the lawyers is a bright defense attorney at the head of the team. After lunch a few days later he brings a file to your office and asks if the two of you can discuss the case. You come prepared with your notepad to the place he suggests you sit down and talk. It turns out that he is not interested in the case at all; he is interested in you.

You start dating. The places he chooses are not places you can afford, but he pays for everything. The relationship becomes hot and heavy with the two of you snatching kisses at the water cooler. You ask yourself what you are doing. You are breaking one of the company rules by dating someone in the office. No one knows and you’ve told no one about it, but you are concerned that you might lose your job. You like the attorney a lot, but his father is the senior partner in the firm and he would not be the one to get fired; you would.

The following week he leaves for the Atlanta office where he will be in court for several days to try a case. You speak every night on the phone and the relationship is growing into something comfortable where you can speak your mind. You tell him about your concerns. He waves it off and says not to worry. He returns from Atlanta and says he is invited to his parents’ house for dinner, but he’ll see you later.

As the weeks pass and you have taken great risks at the office with stolen kisses, he says that his family is going up to the cottage on the weekend, and he’ll see you on Monday at the office. It is the huge family get-together and he can’t miss it, he adds. He doesn’t ask you to come along. You go home and sit on the couch and cry.

Is he the right man for you? He’s a great guy with a great job and a wallet that can support a good lifestyle, but is he the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? He buys you little gifts and does all the things for a woman the magazines tell him to do, but he goes off on his own anyway. You tell your friends. They commiserate with you. Some of them are impressed by his background and that he is the boss’ son, and says that you should hang on a little longer.

Your overnight dates continue. You don’t answer the phone at his place; the caller hangs up when she hears your voice. Once you hid in a closet when his mother turned up unexpectedly and brought him a tuna casserole. You shared the casserole with him after his mother left, but you were full of resentment.

Ask yourself: will a man who loves you keep you hidden and not want to show you off? Is your working in the same office a good-enough reason not to take you to meet his family – unless he has no real intention of ever taking you? Are you going to accept, forever, the resentment you feel about his ongoing solo trips and possible affairs? There would be hope if he suggested that you find work in another office so that the two of you can be open about your relationship. Did he ever talk about it? Did you ask or were you afraid to ask why the caller always hangs up when you answer the phone?

The writing is on the wall. What you decide now will decide your fate. You love him, but you know deep down that you feel rejected and are unhappy about your life. Trust your instinct on this. Don’t think with your heart. Remind yourself of the consequences if you stay. A man who wants you forever is one who wants to be with you and tries to include you. This is the moment to be honest. He’s a wonderful human being, but he is what he is, a perpetual bachelor, and in the long run will leave you as easily and as suavely as he had met you. He will say the dreaded words: ‘we can still be friends’, and will not know how much he has hurt you. He is not the right man for you.