Never, ever; not under any circumstance can you forgive someone who has molested and destroyed your child. Raping a young girl is a serious crime. When you rape and murder a child you destroy an entire family and perform an act that even the most hardened of criminals would find hard to do. Why, then should you forgive your perpetrator? Why should you have mercy when he had lust and raped your child? We are forgiving a lot of people who have hurt us and who don’t have any concept of decency. The answer, plain and simple is that unless you deal with what has happened to you and your family that you will live with the problem forever and never return to your life.
Unfortunately, sometimes we have to do things that make no sense whatsoever, but are necessary for survival and the greater good of all down the line. An example of supreme forgiveness would be what the South African President Nelson Mandela did in 1992. Mandela forgave his white masters and those who had enslaved him, and changed the world by forgiving a nation and not taking revenge. Revenge would have been harder on the country. He was smart and showed the world how to turn the other cheek. Because of that the transition from one government to another was easier. South Africans never did negotiate with American superstars on White House lawns; they did it themselves.
Forgiveness to heal
When it comes to forgiveness you can take a leaf out of Mandela’s book. There is no one in the world with Mandela’s largesse, wisdom and generosity. Are you able to forgive the man or the neighbor who raped your child? Can you be THAT forgiving? Again, the answer is an uncomfortable yes; it would be hard to forgive a pedophile no matter who spoke for him. Do not beat yourself up if you cannot forgive. Rape and murder are not forgivable crimes. You can forgive a 12-year old for getting a girl of the same age pregnant and it would be terrible and no less wrong, but no mother can see her girl raped and killed and be expected to forgive – not in the foreseeable future, and not for a very long time.