Jul 6, 2012

Are you a serial bully?

Do you pick on someone weaker and younger than you and are you devious, deceptive and manipulative? According to Bully Online there are three types of serial bullies; the attention-seeker, the guru, the wannabe and the sociopath. Winston Churchill had this to say about serial bullies: “The truth is incontrovertible; malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.”

Deconstructing a serial bully

A serial bully has a dual Jekyll and Hyde nature; vile, vindictive and scathing in private and charming in front of others. He is a master of deception, shallow and superficial with fine words but no substance. He is often described as smooth and slippery and is unusually skilled in knowing what people want to hear. Emotionally retarded and in a state of arrested development, he is untrustworthy and not a person to be relied upon. There is a long list of adjectives to describe the serial bully but this will suffice except to add that he is also a control freak and arrogant.

Other types of bullies

The above profile is relevant to the serial bully but there are other types of abusers also, including bullies in the workplace, bullies in the neighborhood, con artists and swindlers, abusive and violent partners, sexual abusers, rapists, sociopaths, serial killers and the like. You can be sure that someone who is a serial abuser in the workplace is also a serial bully at home. A wolf can’t change his coat. The above offenders commit criminal offences for which one can be arrested; a serial bully commits mostly offences where one is safe from the law. He is also a coward.

Most serial bullies have unhappy private lives and if he should have you in his sight and start to stalk you and you decide to sue him make sure to dig into his past where you are bound to unearth some unsavory information which can be of help to your case. Serial bullies operate under the radar; they are like sniffing dogs. Go online for the different types of serial bullies and in depth information on the subject.


Successfully preserving your relationship

The first thing that both parties have to understand is that a relationship is not only about one person. There are two people whose needs have to be met, and both of you have to try your best to give each other what they want. Here are some tips for preserving a loving and healthy relationship.

• Discuss your needs with your partner; he or she cannot read your mind. Often relationships fail because partners are unrealistic and not straight about what they desire. Be specific.

• If you have a dispute about something, try to look at it from the other person’s point of view and see if you understand it better.
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• Be clear about what you want in a relationship. Perhaps you find this hard to do because you don’t know it yourself.

• Be willing to compromise and don’t sweat the small things.

• Keep the relationship fresh by doing some of the earlier things you had always done together. Go out, have fun, be ordinary free human beings.

• Don’t forget the little gifts of flowers and chocolates you once bought for one another. This goes a long way to telling your partner that you still love him or her.

• Let your guy go out with the boys on poker night and you go out with the girls to do some of the fun things you always did together. Each of you having side interests is good for a relationship.

• Negotiate everything by sitting down and working through any grievances you might have. If the argument is bigger than both of you, agree to see a counselor who can work with you through the problem and provide a solution.

• Don’t try to change your partner from the man or woman he or she was when you first met. Forcing someone to change causes resentment and is not a good idea.

• Surprise your partner now and again with tickets for the basketball game. Be spontaneous and take opportunities when you can to keep your relationship alive. Put your partner first and you will never go wrong.


Negative effects of video games outweigh positive effects

While there are some positive effects for children playing video games in that it introduces technology to children, they learn to follow instructions, can do problem solving, do simultaneous tasks, learns how to think quickly and learn strategy, the positive effects far outweigh the negative and parents should take note of the following factors:

Negative effects

• According to a scientific study done by Anderson & Bushman 2001, children who play violent video games are more likely to have increased negative feelings and behavior and decreased pro social helping.

• The child lives in an isolated world when he plays and has no interaction with siblings and family and no time for sporting activities or homework.

• In many of the games kids are rewarded for being violent which occurs repeatedly; the child is in control of the violence and experiences the violence as he plays. Many studies have shown that violent video games may be related to aggressive behavior.

• While there are many kids who can leave the violence behind when they are playing, there are also kids who commit violent crimes. Violence and aggression are rewarded. Games can also blur the line between reality and fantasy.

• Kids who play video games continuously also do poorly at school and poor school grades are the result.

• Then there are the health hazards of playing video games such as muscular and skeletal disorders, nerve compression and carpal tunnel syndrome.

• Constant playing by kids who are addicted to video games also present with phobias, depression and anxiety.

• According to a new study published in the February 2012 issue of the Journal of Psychology and Popular Media Culture children who spend too much time playing video games may also be impulsive and have attention problems.

This does not mean that you should stop your child playing video games altogether, but choose the kind of video your child can play and allow only one or two hours a day of playing. Introduce your child to books, sports, kiting, watching good television programs and interacting with family and other kids.


Suggestions for better online instructions which will result in high earnings for writers

This is not a complaint; it is just something I’ve thought about for a long time to write and ask online employers to make following instructions of how to do things easier. For instance, I have written close to 200 articles for Bukisa and because I got confused with the instructions on how to set up AdSense, and did not and still do not understand linking properly, I have just dropped it and concentrated on writing for two or three companies. I also have a blog with over 11,000 views that I do not know how to populate with ads.

Here are some suggestions all online companies can benefit from

• I understand widgets and banners but don’t know how to go about setting it up. When you explain links, back links, reciprocal link please have a section where you give step by step instructions and explain it exactly. I have tried to set up my AdSense account several times, but have been unsuccessful. In fact I am quite embarrassed to write to support at Bukisa so many times.

• A good percentage of people writing for your sites are writers and not familiar with SEO, and technical terms should be explained. Don’t just say, ‘set up your Adsense account.’ Explain how to do it.

• When you want a particular kind of link, pretend you are writing for ten year old kids and give step by step instructions. We are writers and new to this kind of technical language.

• Most important, have a tutorial for new writers which they should become familiar with first. Every site has its own language for articles such as columns, leaves, lenses and so on, but their way of explaining the answers to questions are not all the same.

• Writing for Experts Column is a breeze as all you do is type the article, include your link, and post it. Maybe because Experts Column does not have AdSense.

• Asking writers to post to other people’s blogs to promote your blog is unclear for this writer as I was told when you do this, you are spamming. So because I don’t know when not to or when to, I just leave it.

• This writer is happy to pay two dollars to anyone who can set up my Adsense accounts for Bukisa, Constant Content and Red Gage. I just want to write!!