May 31, 2012

As a single mom do you leave your two young girls alone with a new boyfriend while you go out shopping?

You absolutely should not leave your two young kids with a boyfriend while you go out; not for any reason. You will put your kids at risk and you might deeply regret it. Once the damage is done there is no undoing the act. This is not to say that boyfriends should not be considered. They can be if you know the person very well, the kids like him and are used to him, and you don’t stay away for more than fifteen minutes or so. Otherwise, the kids should always be in your sight. It is just too dangerous to take chances. Kids are hurt every day by strangers as well as by people in the family.

Setting the parameters

• As a single parent your first priority is your kids. They trust and rely on you for their safety. You cannot abuse this by going out and leaving them with strangers while you are out having fun.

• Make arrangements with your mother or sister to look after your kids when you go out. Make sure the person is reliable and not going to be on the internet or playing computer games.

• If your former husband is good with the kids, let them see him more often. Your severance is with your former husband, not with the kids. Let them be with him for the weekend rather than be with a new boyfriend.
• Particularly because you have girls, do a background check on your boyfriend to see if he is a
safe person to be around your kids.

• Teach your girls not to sit on anyone’s lap – not even uncles and aunts – and to come and tell you if the boyfriend touches them anywhere.

• Teach your girls not to get in the boyfriend’s car or not to go anywhere with him- even if he says that they have to go and look for the dog.

• Have your mom come to the house to look after the kids if you are going to be out for a long time. Use this time also to do your shopping for the week, giving you more time with your kids.