Mar 25, 2012

You love the dog more than you love me

Are you dating a man who gets up at six every morning to take his dog for a walk, have special towels for the dog, had a water-proofed wooden house built for him, lets him sleep in the sun room if there is too much sun, and constantly shakes and airs out his bedding? Is he such a dog fanatic that he lavishes more private time on the dog than on you? We all know such a person; women who fuss and dress up their little long-haired canine snappers and men who are constantly at the vet checking out the best food for their Alsatians and Boerbools. For a dog lover such as this, it may seem that he loves the dog more than he does his partner, but really it is not so.

Is there a tinge of jealousy?

Men who love their dogs do not purposely set out to hurt the feelings of others. In fact, a person who loves animals will not ill-treat living beings. Only a compassionate dog lover will go all out to see that his dog has the best care, the best food, the best exercise and the best natural supplements. Think about it for a moment. Are you really concerned about the attention your partner gives to his dog? Do you want him to spend more time with you? If so, turn things around by participating in some of their activities. Going for a walk with the dog is fun and refreshing and you have a chance to talk. You can also make an effort to interact with the dog. When your partner sees your interest in his dog he will be happy and think of more activities for the three of you. Do more fun things with the dog on your own to really get your mate’s attention.

He still sees his ex on the side

Maintaining a good relationship with your man is hard work and it is difficult enough to repair cracks in the courtship, but it is especially painful for you that whenever his ex-lover calls for one thing or another, he drops everything to go and see her. It does not matter what time of the day or night it is, if the rubber washer on the tap becomes faulty or she needs to talk to him, he is off. You believe him when he says the other woman is just like a sister to him now, but you don’t need another sister and do not need an extra person in your relationship; a couple means two.

What women want from a man

Most women will tell you that they are in a relationship because of the intimacy it affords them and that for them it is not just about sex. A woman wants a strong man in her life; one who can protect her and make her feel safe and one who can discuss all his innermost feelings with her. This is her domain, not the domain of an ex girlfriend. An ex-girlfriend must know her place. If it happened once, that’s okay; if it becomes a habit, it is not acceptable. And your lover must know this. An emotional relationship is far more dangerous than just a casual exchange of bodily fluids.

Remedying the situation

This need not be a difficult task if you handle it well; there are enough books on dating and relationships that you can check out to give you some ideas. The most important thing, however, is to approach the discussion you will have with dignity and without being accusatory. Tell your lover that you cannot play the third wheel in your courtship and that it is not a bad thing to tell his ex girlfriend that she should not come between them. These are jungle tactics where the male lion roars and all the females do his bidding. Roar back. Tell him that you absolutely believe that he is just friends with the other woman, but that his allegiance is with her and not someone he has broken up with. Buy her a special gift and give it to her over dinner.