Mar 25, 2012

He still sees his ex on the side

Maintaining a good relationship with your man is hard work and it is difficult enough to repair cracks in the courtship, but it is especially painful for you that whenever his ex-lover calls for one thing or another, he drops everything to go and see her. It does not matter what time of the day or night it is, if the rubber washer on the tap becomes faulty or she needs to talk to him, he is off. You believe him when he says the other woman is just like a sister to him now, but you don’t need another sister and do not need an extra person in your relationship; a couple means two.

What women want from a man

Most women will tell you that they are in a relationship because of the intimacy it affords them and that for them it is not just about sex. A woman wants a strong man in her life; one who can protect her and make her feel safe and one who can discuss all his innermost feelings with her. This is her domain, not the domain of an ex girlfriend. An ex-girlfriend must know her place. If it happened once, that’s okay; if it becomes a habit, it is not acceptable. And your lover must know this. An emotional relationship is far more dangerous than just a casual exchange of bodily fluids.

Remedying the situation

This need not be a difficult task if you handle it well; there are enough books on dating and relationships that you can check out to give you some ideas. The most important thing, however, is to approach the discussion you will have with dignity and without being accusatory. Tell your lover that you cannot play the third wheel in your courtship and that it is not a bad thing to tell his ex girlfriend that she should not come between them. These are jungle tactics where the male lion roars and all the females do his bidding. Roar back. Tell him that you absolutely believe that he is just friends with the other woman, but that his allegiance is with her and not someone he has broken up with. Buy her a special gift and give it to her over dinner.

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