Apr 7, 2012

Are you being stalked by a jilted lover?

With the advent of the internet dating has taken on a whole new dimension. Finding a man or a companion can be as easy as turning on your laptop and surfing the net in bed. But as easy as it might be to navigate through a dating site and as attractive and amenable as the photos and words portray the man, finding a mate on the internet can also be a dangerous proposition. You know this because you have already trolled the site, met a man, dated and dumped him in the same week. The problem is that he is not taking no for an answer and everywhere you look, you see him. The phone rings at all times of the night, someone listens, and then hangs up. Ten minutes later he is at your door. What do you?

• You don’t open the door! When he contacts you, tell him firmly that you are no longer interested in dating. You have decided that you want to be on your own. Have a civil conversation. You don’t want to anger a stalker. If he persists in calling you, tell him that you are going to report him to the police. Then call the police immediately if he does not leave. Read this paragraph again. If you do not call the police, you are putting yourself in danger.

• Ask a friend to stay with you for a few nights. If the phone calls have stopped but you see him waiting for you in the vicinity where you work and he tries to talk to you drive straight to the police station.

• If a friend can’t stay with you for a few nights, go home to mom and dad and stay with them for a while. They will be worried but you will be well treated – even have some bonding with your parents and siblings.

• Ask for a restraining order if you spot him anywhere near where you are. Don't take chances.

• Call his parents and tell them that their son is stalking you. Explain that you dated him for a month but that you broke off the relationship for whatever reason and you don’t want him constantly calling you and hanging up and following you everywhere including to work.

• This should put an end to the matter, but just to be on the safe side, ask one of your male friends to come and spend some nights on your sofa. A good friend will do this for your safety.

• If he still follows you after all this go back to the police station and demand some form of security and that your stalker be arrested or you will sleep at the police station. The police are there to protect us, not only when we are in danger, but also when there might be potential harm.