Feb 21, 2012

Know what to expect on a blind date

Blind dates are the best way to make friends. If you leave with that in mind, you can’t lose except if the guy is a complete idiot. Remember, the guy is just as nervous as you, only he doesn’t know it. He wants to be acceptable, he wants to make the grade; it makes him a more likeable person and a contestant – because it is a contest. You show off your looks and if it is pleasing, you get a chance to interview. That’s all a blind date is; an interview. If the interview works out you’re there for two hours or more; if it does not, you are in a taxi home soon enough.

How and where to meet

·                    If it is a girlfriend who has set up the date, make sure it will take place in a public place where there people around. A well-lit venue is better than a dark tavern. Make it local so you can walk home if necessary.

·                    Make sure you have cab fare in the event you have to get out, or he does not want to bring you home.

·                     Don’t be the one to be talking all the time and listen to what he has to say. If he is witty and funny and you like him, he might end up being a good friend. Remember, first sight attraction gets all the hormones going. If there’s nothing on his side, you can’t force it. Still, you should have a good time because there is a chance that he might become a friend – if for nothing else but to make you laugh.

·                    Don’t go to his flat or apartment and don’t invite him to your place the first night.

·                    Definitely do not drink alcohol as this might make both of you a little high and make you act on your animal instincts and have sex.

·                    Do not have a blind date for more than one or two hours. Take what you have heard and once at home you can dissect it.

·                    Do not give your phone number and street address to anyone. If you like him, you can do a back ground check on his past and find out if he has any convictions in other states.

·                    No matter how well the evening goes, do not take him home with you.

·                    Tell a girlfriend where you are and to check up on you at the restaurant. You might want a quick escape.

Blind dates can be a lot of fun, but one just has to be careful as well. Who knows? Your blind date may be so handsome and charismatic and savage – yes, women like a little savagery – you might want to be kidnapped by him. Change your thinking about blind dates and believe that you will meet a great guy.

Is your pickiness holding you back from having a lasting relationship?

We all know two or three friends with whom we have gone to school together, graduated, parted to start our different journeys and never lost complete touch. In our forties now, some of those couples have got married and had children, some have been married and divorced, and some maintain that they are still looking and have still not found the right person yet. The irony is that those very people who say they have not found the right one yet, have probably had the most attributes and qualities to have found a good partner. What then is the problem? Why are they still single and lonely? What is the new excuse now? Nobody seems to be good enough. No one makes it past the dinner drinks. When the last sip is taken they are already ruing the next day and thinking of what a bother it is.

Getting a grip

·                    If you are happy with your single life and truly don’t want a partner, and mean it, perhaps you are telling the truth and you do not have to read articles on subjects you secretly want to know about.

·                    Maybe you are even aware of your situation and are trying to fix it. Have you spoken to a psychologist? Do you dread the thought of a man in your life? Is there some past history which you should look into that is holding you back?

·                    Have you been in a relationship with a man that you really liked and wanted to be part of his life, and he left you, and you still don’t understand what happened? Deep down you know.

·                    Do you have unrealistic expectations? Do you want a man to wait on you hand and foot? Do you play games and withhold sex if you can’t get what you want? This is a favorite tactic of some women; they feel powerful when they get the upper hand.

News for you

Men know instinctively when they meet a woman for the first time what she gives up; meaning, is she a first-night kisser, is she anxious to be liked, is she desperate, does she put out on the first date, or is she cool and slow and easy and don’t take things for granted until they’ve been proven to her. Some of these reasons are why many people are in failed relationships and many too have not yet said marital vows. It is all right to be vulnerable; it means you do not know everything. The best way forward is to make a list of what you truly fear, see a psychologist, and then prepare a positive life plan which includes having a man in your life. If you come across desperate, men will sense that and take off. Remember, they are human beings too and have their fears.