Sep 25, 2012

Wedding day anxiety

Imagine this scenario: it is a day before the wedding. The band has been booked, the bridesmaids’ outfits are ready, the catering is paid for, you are having drinks with the girls when suddenly you have anxiety and say that you can’t go through with it. Family members ask you what is wrong; you say you don’t know. You have mere hours before you become a wife. The groom-to-be is shocked and does not understand what is happening. The transition is so bizarre that one moment you are laughing with the girls and the next moment you are crying over the drink in your hand. What do you do? 

Handling wedding day anxiety

**           You do nothing for the moment except be with her. Don’t try to explain things; it will go in one ear and out the other. Calm her down by telling her that you understand how hard it is to leave home. 

**           Don’t blame yourself. It has nothing to do with you. Be rational. Hold her and say that it is all right to cry on the night before you get married. After all, it is a huge thing to leave your parents’ home and change guard. 

**           Put a temporary hold on the catering until you know whether the event is on or off. Remember caterers start planning weeks ahead of time and they don’t do anything without a fat deposit; don’t do it too late.

**           If hours later you are still fearful and don’t know the cause of it, put the wedding on hold. It is easier to lose some of your deposits than undo or annul a marriage. It may even be that once you have cancelled everything that the fear dissipates and you find yourself with just two witnesses at the Justice of the Peace. It may be the fear of change rather than finding fault with your partner which one is sometimes apt to do. If on the morning of the wedding your partner laughs off her anxiety from the previous day and seems fine, you know you have crossed that bridge and are set for the marriage to take place. The fear and confusion is akin to a new mother who does not know what to expect and wants the baby but does not want to give birth.

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