IS HE THE RIGHT MAN FOR YOU?

You’ve just started a new job as the youngest member of a legal team in a posh downtown office. One of the lawyers is a bright defense attorney at the head of the team. After lunch a few days later he brings a file to your office and asks if the two of you can discuss the case. You come prepared with your notepad to the place he suggests you sit down and talk. It turns out that he is not interested in the case at all; he is interested in you.

You start dating. The places he chooses are not places you can afford, but he pays for everything. The relationship becomes hot and heavy with the two of you snatching kisses at the water cooler. You ask yourself what you are doing. You are breaking one of the company rules by dating someone in the office. No one knows and you’ve told no one about it, but you are concerned that you might lose your job. You like the attorney a lot, but his father is the senior partner in the firm and he would not be the one to get fired; you would.

The following week he leaves for the Atlanta office where he will be in court for several days to try a case. You speak every night on the phone and the relationship is growing into something comfortable where you can speak your mind. You tell him about your concerns. He waves it off and says not to worry. He returns from Atlanta and says he is invited to his parents’ house for dinner, but he’ll see you later.

As the weeks pass and you have taken great risks at the office with stolen kisses, he says that his family is going up to the cottage on the weekend, and he’ll see you on Monday at the office. It is the huge family get-together and he can’t miss it, he adds. He doesn’t ask you to come along. You go home and sit on the couch and cry.

Is he the right man for you? He’s a great guy with a great job and a wallet that can support a good lifestyle, but is he the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? He buys you little gifts and does all the things for a woman the magazines tell him to do, but he goes off on his own anyway. You tell your friends. They commiserate with you. Some of them are impressed by his background and that he is the boss’ son, and says that you should hang on a little longer.

Your overnight dates continue. You don’t answer the phone at his place; the caller hangs up when she hears your voice. Once you hid in a closet when his mother turned up unexpectedly and brought him a tuna casserole. You shared the casserole with him after his mother left, but you were full of resentment.

Ask yourself: will a man who loves you keep you hidden and not want to show you off? Is your working in the same office a good-enough reason not to take you to meet his family – unless he has no real intention of ever taking you? Are you going to accept, forever, the resentment you feel about his ongoing solo trips and possible affairs? There would be hope if he suggested that you find work in another office so that the two of you can be open about your relationship. Did he ever talk about it? Did you ask or were you afraid to ask why the caller always hangs up when you answer the phone?

The writing is on the wall. What you decide now will decide your fate. You love him, but you know deep down that you feel rejected and are unhappy about your life. Trust your instinct on this. Don’t think with your heart. Remind yourself of the consequences if you stay. A man who wants you forever is one who wants to be with you and tries to include you. This is the moment to be honest. He’s a wonderful human being, but he is what he is, a perpetual bachelor, and in the long run will leave you as easily and as suavely as he had met you. He will say the dreaded words: ‘we can still be friends’, and will not know how much he has hurt you. He is not the right man for you.

EARLY SIGNS OF PREGNANCY

        The first sign that you might be pregnant is that you have missed a period and have had some discharge or traces of blood. The symptoms you will probably experience, and not in any particular order, is that you might feel a little nauseous when you wake up. For some women it is the smell of coffee or the aromas of bacon sizzling in the pan that sets them off. Your mouth tastes funny and you have a sudden urge to vomit and run to the toilet to throw up. Throwing up in the mornings can sometimes last for three or four months and you might want to suck on a sugar-free mint to change the nauseating taste in your mouth. Some women take Gravol to diminish the nausea, but you might not want to do that for the baby’s sake.

Another symptom is that your breasts feel tender. They feel swollen and full. Your nipples are sore to the touch and seem to be getting larger. You also feel bloated and your feet feel uncomfortable in your shoes. As the pregnancy progresses, your breasts will grow larger in preparation for the baby. An ideal bra to wear is one that can accommodate your swollen breasts and also has a flap so you can feed the infant without taking it off.

Another big symptom is craving for particular foods, and sometimes in the middle of the night. You might never have had dill pickles, but now crave dill pickles with ice cream or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You might go off tea and certain foods altogether and/or binge on other snacks. Be careful what you eat, and be light-handed with spices and caffeine as you want to avoid heartburn. Don’t eat things like chips and chocolates and stay away from fizzy drinks. You don’t want to stack on extra pounds as you’ll be stuck with it afterwards.

Your hormones are in flux now. If you have curly hair, it might straighten. You might also experience a change in sexual desire; for some women, they may not want sex during pregnancy, and for others, they want it more now than before they were pregnant. You might experience a discharge at certain times.

You will also feel very tired and if your doctor has not already recommended it you should take an iron pill. Don’t wear shoes that are too tight and have no way for your feet to breathe. Put up your legs whenever you can. The obstetrician will keep an eye on your iron and prescribe iron pills if you need it. Your stool will be black; don’t be alarmed. Take the iron pills that have a stool softener. Make sure you eat healthily with lots of salad in your diet to prevent constipation. Try to drink at least five or six glasses of water every day.

Get into a regular routine of exercise by walking three or four times a week. Don’t do anything drastic. After a few weeks you will get used to your symptoms. By the fourth month, your morning sickness should have subsided or stopped and everything will be normal except for the little bulge which has started to show.

CAN MAN EVER BE GOD?

        Man can never be God. Man is mortal. He lives and he dies. He needs food to survive. He needs people in his life or human beings will become extinct. God is indescribable. God needs no companions. He can raise people from the dead. God does not die. Man can think because of his wealth he is God, but he is just dust in the wind. Material things do not make a God, and it is a foolish man who thinks he can be God.

In the Bible it says to love your God with all your heart, with your mind, with all of your strength, with all of your love, with all of your soul, and love one another the same way. Man is not capable of loving one another in the same way. We are too selfish. We want to live on our own terms and not follow the Commandments.

In Surah x 31-32 in the Qur’an, it states: ‘Say, who is it that sustains you in life from the sky and from the earth? Or who is it that has power over hearing and sight? And who is it that brings out the living from the dead and the dead from the living? And who is it that rules and regulates all affairs? They will soon say “God”. Say, will you not then show piety to Him? Such is God, your real Cherisher and Sustainer: Apart from Truth what remains but error? How then are you turned away?’

The commentator, Yusuf Ali explains this verse in footnote 1422 in the Quran: ‘Sustenance may be understood in the sense of all the provision necessary for maintaining physical life as well as mental and spiritual development and well-being. Examples of the former are light and rain from heaven and the produce of the earth and facilities of movement on the land and sea and air. Examples of the latter are the moral and spiritual influences that come from our fellow men and from the great Teachers and Prophets’.

Can man do this? We can build airplanes and put people in the air and produce technology that can destroy nations of people, but we will never be able to do what God can do and can never destroy Him.

God says He is closer to you than your jugular vein. In footnote 1426 in the Qur’an it explains: ‘The wonderful handiwork and wisdom of God having been referred to as the real Truth, as against the worship and false gods (cars, wealth, material things) that men set up, it follows that to disregard the Truth must lead us into woeful wrong, not only in our beliefs but in our conduct. We shall err and stray and be lost. How then can we turn away from Truth?’

God’s handiwork is evident in the mountains and the sea and the deserts and the sky. We worship false gods, but with all that we have we will never have peace in our lives until we recognize and believe in the Sustenance, Love, and Existence of God.