May 23, 2012

Is silence the best way to stop an argument with a spouse?

Silence is not the best way to treat the situation otherwise the problem you have with each other will never be resolved. On the other hand, silence is good if you want the aggressor to calm down first before you continue to list your grievances. Oftentimes in an argument the person that becomes silent is accused of playing a game to appear the better one in the disagreement. Be that as it may there is a fair way to fight. It is understandable that people grapple with issues and need to speak to each other to fix the problem; it is not understandable and not necessary to do so by screaming and shouting accusations at one another. When it comes to hurling insults and swearing, you are inches away from causing serious marital damage and losing respect.

Silence is golden

• Make use of silence when you want to defuse a situation, but also speak up to defend yourself. Silence on its own won’t do anything as the other person will not know what you are on about unless you speak.

• Agree to disagree and speak honestly about how you feel and how the two of you should resolve the issue. Make sure the children are in their rooms before you start telling your side of the story as there is no need for kids to be involved or listen in on adult conversations.

• Don’t bring your children into the situation and ask them to back up what you are saying. They should not be put in the middle and be made to answer questions about one of the parents.

• Always treat each other with respect when you engage in a dispute. Children can sense there is trouble if the parents are moping around the house and are ignoring them.

• If your problem is complicated and you have had the same problem with your spouse over and over again, seek help by seeing a psychologist who can listen to your story and advise you on the best way to go. Don’t go to bed angry and if your children ask if something is wrong, don’t share the details but say that you and your spouse are just working something out.

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