May 27, 2012

Severing your friendshhip with an addict

If you have a best friend who is seriously addicted to drugs and refuses to believe that he has an addictive nature and is a full blown addict, the best thing you can do for your friend is to sever the relationship between you and go your separate ways. It can be very wearing for family members and friends who have been around this person for years and now are just plain fed up with the whole thing. They have listened to the lies and the sob stories and now expect results or they are going to move on

Addicts, whether drug addicted, an alcoholic, or a gambler all fit in the same category of first class liars. They always think they are in control of their habit, but make the same mistakes all the time. You cannot fix an addiction on your own. You need support and you need a counselor the addict can call on if he needs to go through a hard patch. He also needs an intervention which can be set up by his family where help is on standby to take him directly to a rehabilitation clinic where he can be treated.

Things you can do and what he can do for himself

• If you are his girlfriend, a family member, or whatever, put your own sanity first and do not believe him if he says that he is going to stop and to give him another chance. You want to see that he is sober and doing what he should do to free himself of the disease. Remember, alcoholism is a disease. You can never cure it, but you can arrest it.

• Don’t give your friend money. Just say you are not going to support his habit and that it is over between you. You are tired of his lies and you want a life of your own.

• Give him information and books on alcoholism and tell him the one thing you will do is go with him to Alcoholics Anonymous.

• Mean what you say and end the relationship. Do not look back and don’t answer his calls. You have to be tough to help your friend and doing things on his own is part of recovery.

• Last, do not break your own rules by feeling sorry for him and getting sucked in again, just to be disappointed another time. Tell your friend that you just cannot be his friend anymore and that when he has gone for rehab and stopped drinking and proven himself, you can be friends again.

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