Jun 17, 2012

Can you really be with only one partner for a lifetime?

Nothing lasts forever, not even love, not with the same intensity as the first time you met. We fall in love, we marry, we take vows, we promise, we disappoint, we forgive and we have hardly finished the wedding cake when one party aggravates the other and the couple’s true nature comes out. The fault is not with the couple. The fault is with the misunderstanding of the word love and what marriage means and whether it can sustain the rough parts as well as the good.

If you placed an ad for a companion and stated your wishes beforehand you would have more chance of finding a person you can walk with, dance with, live with because it is not a permanent set up. You can choose to leave just by giving your landlord one or two months’ notice of your move and you can date, fall out of love and depart without emotional debris and then place another ad. When you opt for marriage you sign up for a whole other deal.

We all want the same things in life; happiness, a great family, a guy we’re crazy about, but can you eat bread and jam seven days of the week? Can you go to the same couch in your living room to watch television for eight hours? Is your conversation always about the Kardashians and celebrities and nothing else? That would be a boring life. A marriage needs variety and you have to work at it by allowing each other to have their own space and interests which will also be good for the relationship. If you make no effort to spruce up your marriage and inject life into it, your neglect will be by your own hand and things will become boring and staid. A marriage has to be stimulated and both parties have to be invested.

This writer is not against marriage as it legitimizes children and has many benefits. The problem is that when we sign up for legal and emotional cohabitation, we should understand why we are doing it and what to expect. It is impossible to expect that constant high when you first met. There are many books written just on reasons for divorce; the trick is to keep it fresh and interesting. When you have a flower garden you know what happens if you don’t pull out the weeds and tend to watering daily; marriage is the same.


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