Is silence the best way to stop an argument with a spouse?

Silence is not the best way to treat the situation otherwise the problem you have with each other will never be resolved. On the other hand, silence is good if you want the aggressor to calm down first before you continue to list your grievances. Oftentimes in an argument the person that becomes silent is accused of playing a game to appear the better one in the disagreement. Be that as it may there is a fair way to fight. It is understandable that people grapple with issues and need to speak to each other to fix the problem; it is not understandable and not necessary to do so by screaming and shouting accusations at one another. When it comes to hurling insults and swearing, you are inches away from causing serious marital damage and losing respect.


Silence is golden

• Make use of silence when you want to defuse a situation, but also speak up to defend yourself. Silence on its own won’t do anything as the other person will not know what you are on about unless you speak.
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• Agree to disagree and speak honestly about how you feel and how the two of you should resolve the issue. Make sure the children are in their rooms before you start telling your side of the story as there is no need for kids to be involved or listen in on adult conversations.
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• Don’t bring your children into the situation and ask them to back up what you are saying. They should not be put in the middle and be made to answer questions about one of the parents.
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• Always treat each other with respect when you engage in a dispute. Children can sense there is trouble if the parents are moping around the house and are ignoring them.
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• If your problem is complicated and you have had the same problem with your spouse over and over again, seek help by seeing a psychologist who can listen to your story and advise you on the best way to go. Don’t go to bed angry and if your children ask if something is wrong, don’t share the details but say that you and your spouse are just working something out.

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Is it possible to stop gambling?

This is a serious question and not meant to be taken lightly. Gambling is an insidious disease. It robs you of common sense and when you are in the grip of the disease it can be very hard to stop. If you are really prepared to change, go to Gamblers Anonymous (G.A.) and join the group. If you fear a backlash by friends, don’t concern yourself about it and stick to your guns. We all have carbuncles in our closet; some of us need help.


Why you should attend Gamblers Anonymous if you want to stop

They have regular weekly meetings which you can attend, at different locations, on a Tuesday night. Get a counselor who can support you and on whom you can call if you are struggling. The group works with a twelve-step program and you should join so that you are with people who meet on a regular basis and have the same objective in mind. You will receive a booklet and regular attendance and a strong will are necessary to be successful. Remember, stopping the addiction starts in the head. Don't put it off any longer.


Observe the following:

• Do not hang around with the people you have gambled with before. They are toxic and will entice you to gamble on and on until you have lost all your money.
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• Gamblers are liars and will do anything to continue their habit. Go to all the G.A. meetings in your neighborhood.
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• Take a family member who is reliable and trustworthy into your confidence and let that person keep your money until all your bills are paid.
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• If you are traveling by car to drop someone off at the airport, don’t let it be an excuse for you to go gambling and take a detour and travel a different route so you are not tempted to pop in at the casino.
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• Take care of your spiritual life and keep God in your prayers. You need all the help you can get.
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• Stop all forms of gambling, even going to the races or buying lottery tickets.
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• Don’t be tempted to stray from your objective and tell people who are looking for someone to go gambling with that you are not in the game anymore and stay away from them.
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• Instead of wasting your money on raffle tickets or gambling, take your family out to the skating rink or the movies and encourage family outings.
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• If nothing works, step up your progress with the twelve steps and tell your counselor that you are about to relapse and you need help. Remember misery likes company and you don’t want your life to be a life of misery.

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Preparing for the wrath of an earthquake

Do you live in California or an earthquake area and are not fully prepared in the event of a seismic disturbance? California has the worst seismic disturbances and the worst earthquakes. With the damage that can be caused by an earthquake it makes sense to be well prepared by doing the following before an earthquake starts:


• Move your pets to a safe area or take them to an animal shelter. Ensure they have a three day supply of dried dog food and enough water.

• Turn off the power, the electricity and the water. Also make sure the kids know how to dial 911.

• Put all glass items on the bottom shelves of cupboards and cabinets and keep mirrors under the bed on the floor.

• Put poisonous items such as pesticides and herbicides on bottom shelves of cupboards which have locks.

• Make sure there is no loose wiring and nothing in the way of small items that can fly around the room.

• Hide under heavy furniture or desks.

• Have a flashlight and batteries, food supplies and a first aid kit at hand.

• Draw up an emergency plan in the event the family is separated.

• Stay inside the house. The worst thing you can do is try to leave the house.

• If you find yourself outdoors, move into the open space and stay where you are until the shaking stops.

• If you are driving when the earthquake starts, stop the vehicle and stay in the car. Stay there until you are told you can get out.

• When the earthquake stops, get the animals where you have left them and give them water to settle down.

• There can be after shocks for as little as a few hours or for months, so be cautious and take care of the elderly and the children.

• Do not use the land line except for emergencies.

• When you open the doors to a cupboard or cabinet do it cautiously as things can come tumbling out.

• Check your chimney before lighting a fire.

• Listen to a battery operated radio for news.

• Do not switch on or use electrical appliances until it has been checked; this includes telephones and electrical devices.


For those who have never experienced an earthquake, don’t panic. When you get the command, hide under heavy furniture and do not move until you are told to do so. Listen to the radio for up to date news.


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