Feb 15, 2012

How many times do you take a striker back?

This is a hard question to answer, even for a psychologist. Yet, it is easy to answer where there are no children involved. A man who strikes you will strike you again, and if you do not end the relationship at that time, you will be on an emotional roller coaster for the rest of your life. A woman who marries for the first time has all kinds of dreams. She will be loved, she will be cared for, she will be different from her friends who are all in toxic relationships, and her marriage will be a success. She has every reason to believe that. When the man raises his hand and strikes her, he crushes everything she has believed in, including her self-esteem.

Children suffer the consequences

Where there are children involved, it is a whole different ball game. Parents know that children who are subjected to constant strife in the home, will act out themselves later on. A man has no right to strike a woman. Besides the violence and ugliness, his behavior tells his children that it is all right to be violent and to strike someone when you are upset and cannot get your way. A striker in the home poses serious consequences. The children will live in fear and may even hate their father. They will have emotional scars. There is no single reason that makes it all right for a man to strike his wife. He is callous because he is bigger than her. Worst of all, he does not care for his children. How can you have someone like that in the house and subject the family to danger? Many women will stay on because they have no money to move or it is just too inconvenient to pack up and leave the family home. You decide; the well-being of the children or the words of a liar who will surely strike you again. 

Follow your gut and save your kids

The hardest and most immediate action must be taken. Are you going to spare your children from this kind of abuse or are you going to stay with someone you will hate for the rest of your life? The answer can only be yours. Remember, though, that if you decide to leave, it will be rough in the beginning, but your actions will save your kids and tell your husband that their emotional health means everything to you. If it means you have to temporarily move in with your mother or a family member, you must do so. It will be rough at first, but you will get through it.

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