Feb 1, 2012

Walking away from emotional abuse

If  you have ever found yourself in the situation where there is abuse in the home, your life and that of your kids are in danger and you want to leave but are afraid to because he has threatened to harm you or the kids, take the threat seriously and call the police as soon as he has left the house and tell them what he has threatened to do. This is not a time to hang around or ponder on whether he means it or not. You can’t take the chance and you don’t have the right to expose your kids to further danger – especially as you are familiar with his temper and know that he flies easily off the handle.

Emotional abuse is insidious

The problem with emotional abuse is that it is insidious and creeps up on you slowly over the years. You get used to the insults. You live with the put-downs. You hear the word stupid so many times you start to believe that you really are stupid and that there is something wrong with you. You question your self-esteem. And then you question your sanity. You ask why you are still there, but you know why. It is just too inconvenient to move and start all over again. You would rather be in a boxing ring with your partner and subject your kids to untold damage than have the inconvenience of walking away from a toxic relationship.

Getting out of the relationship

Being roughed up and punched around by a man is physical abuse, and no woman should stand for it or accept it. If she stays around knowing the danger to her children, she is selfish to expose them to danger as these situations frequently end in disaster and the kids get hurt. Here is an escape plan which includes the following:

·                    Pack your clothes in plastic bags and leave them at a friend’s house,
·                    Mention nothing to your children who might be feeling guilty,
·                    Leave no suspicious items lying around,
·                    Phone your parents and tell them your plan,
·                    Go to the police station and tell them that you and your kids have been abused and you need shelter file a restraining order,
·                    Make sure the police are with you when you go to your parents’ house,
·                    Sit your kids down and explain to them that mommy and daddy can no longer live together in the same house; you don’t want to turn them against their father
·                    Ask social services if you can all have counseling.

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