Feb 27, 2012

What not to do on a first date

First dates can be mighty uncomfortable especially if you have just met the person at a party for ten minutes the night before and don’t know anything about him except his name and his dimpled smile. It is the hardest first minutes of a date and some people dive right into it and others take their time to sass out the situation. Remember that the other person is just as nervous as you despite a show of bravado and might be talking too much. There is a lot of self-consciousness on a first date. He is talking to you but wondering what you are thinking about, whether you find him attractive, whether you can see yourself with him. And you are tense as a guitar string wondering what the night will bring. It is a stressful, strangely sensuous sensation. 

Keeping on top of things

·                    Whatever you do, do not be bowled over by the situation and take him to your bed on this first date; not because you’re a prude or not a prude or because you might not come across as cool, but because you really do not know him and will feel disgust if you have sex with him and the date turns out to be nothing more than a one-night stand.

·                     Do not tell him your whole family history on a first date; in fact, there should not be a whole catalogue of events and family matters you discuss as you want to keep the date fun and lighthearted. 

·                    Don’t reveal your whole arsenal of tools; let him discover you slowly, hand out tit bits of information sparsely and keep the best portions for last. 

·                     Make an effort to look nice and don’t rush to tell him about the skin tag or wart at the side of your neck that is going to be removed. God knows what he has growing on his body and you as a woman will not run off scared by the sight of it.

·                    Do not pretend to be someone you are not. If you serve coffee and cake at the local café, don’t say something like, “I wait on people, but I also read books.” It says that you are embarrassed by what you do. He will know from your behavior that you are a girl of substance.

·                    When the date is over, thank him politely for a fun evening, and do not call him the next day to tell him what a great time you’ve had. He knows what kind of evening you shared. 

·                    If he does not call you and a week has passed, say quietly to yourself: ‘that’s why I don’t put out the first night.’ This is very old-fashioned stuff. A man who is interested in your spirit, is not going to wait for you to call; he is going to call you. We re social animals after all; we know innately how the game is played.


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