Apr 1, 2012
Separating sex from intimacy
Amongst friends sometimes there is often the question as to whether someone can have an emotionally close relationship with a partner without him being emotionally close. The quick answer is yes, if you want a one-way relationship with yourself. The sensible answer depends on whether you want the relationship to be genuine and to last. Women want one thing, men want another thing. Most of the time one can experience both. Often a woman’s secret complaint is that yes, she gets regular sex, she gets looked after, but longs for a partner who wants to share his innermost thoughts just with her. She wants to be the sole recipient of his love and the keeper of his thoughts. Another woman sharing his secrets would be tantamount to emotional treason. A woman wants her partner to come to her when he needs help; she’s his number one. Simple sex is a three to five minute high. Intimacy with her man is lifelong and more satisfying.
For some women casual relationships and dalliances are enough as it is physical contact and with consent, but it does not give them the sense and the feeling that they are the only one in his life. Money and gifts are easy to give. Women want to be appreciated for the way they take care of the home, the family, and also want to be admired for their beauty and their looks. Some women might even forgive a partner who’s been caught cheating once or twice, but will never forgive a man who has an emotional affair with another woman. Having or not having an emotional relationship is where you separate the chaff from the wheat; in other words, sex from intimacy.
Women want an intimate connection
A woman will feel deeply portrayed if she loses her partner to someone who goes to the ballet with him, or to a mountain retreat, or all the adventurous things he never wanted to do with her. For a woman, the man she wants is one who is proud of her, who will take her everywhere to be seen, who is with him and wants to be with her, sort of an Ice Loves Coco kind of intimate relationship; not just in the bed, but in his personal space; a relationship that tells the world that they are together. Of course she is just as hurt when he cheats with a lady of the night or a co-worker, but to break the rules with a woman of substance, will hurt her to the end. His failure will be her failure and that is not what she wants.