May 3, 2012

Should you go out with the guy your sister dumped even when she says it’s okay

It’s a bad idea to date your sister’s ex-lover even when she says it won’t bother her and that it would be all right. People say things and they mean it at that moment but because this is someone she’s been with before a situation may arise in the future when she realizes that she has made a mistake. If there was to be a relationship in between where both sisters dated other people and it was ten years later, that might be a different thing. Still, people have long memories when it comes to a man they’ve fallen in love with and the situation can change any time.

Possible repercussions if you decide to date him

• There might be a time when your sister comes to the house and there is no one home except him and you get to talking, remembering the time when you were together, and you realize that you had made a mistake and now want him back. This will create a huge rift in the family. You are sisters before you are someone elses woman. When the man has been with both sisters and knows them intimately, a line’s been crossed and the relationship between the sisters will never be the same again.

• The first sister will say she was his woman first. The other sister will say she has him now. The relationship between the two sisters will be destroyed and neither one will get him – if he is worth getting. One just cannot step into a relationship between two sisters; it is not your business and you have no right.

• The man will be totally confused and if he has any sense he would leave the sisters alone before he destroys everything. No matter who the parties are, dating someone who has been with someone else in the family before is just not on.

It is never a good idea to date one another person's ex boyfriends. There are memories of the old relationship. You remember things. You imagine that it can work again for the two of you and so you want to give it another try irrespective of whether you hurt your own sister. Your sister had meant it when she said it did not matter and that it would not hurt her, but she has no one now and wants him back. What eventually happens is that the sisters break up with the man and also break up with each other. No one wins. The question to ask is, how can the relationship work if there is infidelity and betrayal? You can’t come between sisters.

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