May 18, 2012

Should your kids sleep with you in the same bed?

Your kids should definitely not sleep in the same bed as you and your husband. Besides the fact that it is the place where you come to rest and sleep at night after a full day’s work and activity, it is your sanctuary. Sleeping in your bed is also not good for children as it encourages co-dependency and other habits. I am not referring to a child waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares and wetting the bed. That is a different case. It would be all right under those circumstances to clean him up and bring him into your dry bed, and only for the night. He is a child and should not be in bed with his parents. Your bedroom is private.

Reasons why a child should not sleep with his parents

• It encourages co-dependency and he will get used to sleeping with you and the habit then will be harder to break.

• Your child’s presence in the bed will interfere with intimacy.

• You all will feel cramped and will not have a good night’s sleep. In the morning all of you would be cranky.

• You can’t watch television as he is in the bed with you and will wake up.

• He is a child and should go to bed at the right time for his age. You could leave the door ajar so he does not become afraid.

These are only some of the reasons why he should sleep in his own bed besides what a child psychologist will tell you. Bedtime is an important thing for a child especially if he is already highly strung. Take him to bed at his regular time, read him a story, and put off the light. If he gets out of bed, put him back again. If he starts to cry and goes into your bed, get him and put him in his own bed. Do not shout or scream at him, and don’t spank. Tell him to go to bed and tell him that if he does not stop you will close the door. Raise the tone in your voice a little to let him know you are serious and tell him again that he has his own bed and that mommy and daddy sleeps alone. Don’t bribe him or offer him chips or sweets. He has to brush his teeth and go to bed.

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