Jul 3, 2012

Economic and sexual abuse against same sex partner

Does your partner ask you to hand your pay check over to her at the end of the month? Does she look at the slips and what you have bought with your own money and demand that you give it to her? Does she come to your place of employment and threaten to tell your colleagues that you are gay if you do not do what she wants? Does she further threaten your friends that she will force them out of the closet too and make them own up to their sexual preference?

Financial and sexual abuse

• This is economic abuse as well as harassment. No one has a right over your finances; it is yours and yours only to control unless you have signed an agreement whereby she has been appointed in that capacity.

• You also have full rights over your children’s needs and they should be taken care of.

• Don’t be talked into or threatened by your same sex partner to hand your money over to her.

• Be aware of identity theft where your partner has no way of finding out and using your personal details to withdraw money on your accounts.

• Do not treat your partner as a sexual object and criticize her performance in bed.

• Do not withhold sex to make your partner pay for something which she did not agree to.

• Wear protection so that you do not infect your partner and do not be angry if she does not want to have sex for fear that she will be infected.

• If she beats you up for any reason at all report it to the authorities. Don’t be afraid of repercussions as such a person will make life hard for you and you will regret staying on.

• Disagree strongly if she wants you to have sex with other people and either wants you to watch and be a voyeur, or have threesomes, or partake in any bestial acts you don’t want to be part of.

• If your partner rapes you, report the incident and take all the necessary precautions to check yourself out with a doctor, get out of the relationship, and report her to the police.


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