Dec 3, 2012

Is it possible to find companionship at 65?

I imagine it is, especially with the help of the internet where you can talk and see and not be within touching distance. I remember the days when people would hide the fact that they used the internet to search for a man. There was a stigma attached to this kind of dating. Now it is commonplace and some people even talk about the experience and show off their new mates. 

When Facebook first became available a man posted a comment on my site and said that he liked the article I wrote on my blog. I replied to say thank you and he wrote back and sent me his picture. It was a nice photograph of a tall guy with blue eyes, in blue jeans, with a shaven head, 45. I looked at the photo and thought, mmm, why did he do this; I didn’t ask him for a picture. I was just writing to say thanks.  Anyway, he w rote on my wall and asked whether I would like to have coffee with him. I thought about it and wrote back, Hi, I am 65, I have a bad back, an aching right leg, and I have Parkinson’s – do you still want to have coffee? Of course I was being facetious and testing to see how the dating world coped. He wrote back and said, well, I could massage your leg and you could cum. That was all I had to hear. Writing that c word and so early in the game, was enough to tell me that he didn’t have any depth. The dating world hadn’t paused for a second, I thought. I wasn’t disturbed or anything; it amused me. 

I think dating a man on the internet allows you a lot of time to do your own research on him, to do a background check, to see if he is who he says he is, and just keep it friendly. I do know three or four couples who have trolled the sites and successfully found partners. I looked through a few of the guys; after a while one picture blended into another and they all looked the same, they all had the same boring interests, and they were all looking for love – as if love could be found with a few keyboard clicks with a man of integrity at the other end. 

The best way to meet a guy is to hang out with your friends. Choose friends who are younger than you and are fun to be with.  Go out bowling in a group. Plan a hike to the Cederberg mountains. Choose an activity where there are other people around and all love doing the same things. Go to the Caledon Spa in the mountains for a full body massage and then go out for a late lunch. When you hang with a particular group for a while you get to know the people in the group. These kinds of outings and activities allow you to get to know someone who might have the same interests as you. The secret of finding the right guy is NOT to look for a right guy as he is already there, undetected, waiting for you to show up.

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