Feb 20, 2012

Single parents and dating

Are there rules for single parents who have not been on the dating scene for a while and now decide to step out? There most certainly are. Times are tougher, women are braver, eligible men are scarcer and you have to have your wits about you. A woman’s first priority is always her children. As long as you consider their interests first, you cannot go wrong.

Times are tougher

Going out on a date for the first time in many years might be welcomed by the kids and the new beau might even grow fond of them. But what if they don’t like him and the date turns sour?  Their father is no longer in the house and they might wonder why you would want to spend more time with this man than with them. They will be jealous of a new person on the scene. Here are some things you can talk about to let them know they will be all right.

Kids come first

·                    Don’t bring the man home until you have been out several times and strongly believe that he might be a match. You don’t want your kids to be introduced to a string of men.

·                     When you do find that guy with potential, tell your kids beforehand that he is coming to dinner and that you want them to be nice to him and treat him with respect.

·                    Don’t come home late and have your kids worrying.

·                    Spend enough quality time with your kids; have a game night or play Monopoly. You don’t want them to feel different.

·                    If he has children, ask him not to bring them with him the first time. You want your kids to get used to him first.

·                    The dinner goes well and you decide you really like him. Do a back ground check nevertheless to make sure he is who he says he is. Don’t pry openly for information. You don’t want to find out you are dating a pedophile. 

·                    Pay attention to how your kids react to him and don’t express your feelings or be intimate in front of them. After the dinner is over ask them how they liked everything. 

·                    Have several of these get togethers before you introduce your kids to his kids. Children need time to digest what is going on.