Mar 4, 2012

Do you know the person you are marrying

Perhaps this article should not be directed to the divorced, but to those who are imminently planning to get married. It is better to look at the pros and cons of spending your life with an intended partner sooner rather than later when there are children and you are in the midst of a custody battle. This might sound crude, but would it not be better to make a list of things which annoy you, and things which might be a deal breaker before you have someone put a ring on your finger?  Here is a list of things potential brides and grooms don’t think about when buying the wedding invitations. Remember, the courting period is still the period where couples behave themselves and pretend that nothing is wrong when there are actually some burning questions you have. If you can stand the following irritations on a daily basis, you have a chance at settling down together.

Daily irritations you can live with

·                    You can stand his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor after a shower every day,
·                    You can stand the fact that he does not brush his teeth first thing in the morning,
·                    You can stand picking up his socks and clothes wherever he leaves them,
·                    You can stand his farting in public places and in the car,
·                    You can stand his mother who has moved into the house next to you,
·                    You can stand him flirting with your friends,
·                    You can stand him going out every Monday night to play poker with the boys,
·                    You can stand him drinking too much and falling into bed with his clothes on,
·                    You can continue being the one who has to buy the groceries on your own and with little help in the house.

It is too late to wonder what has gone wrong when you find yourself with a baby on the arm wading through a pile of clothes on the floor and your partner out drinking with his buddies at the local bar. What you allowed in the getting to know you period, you accept in the marriage.  It is no use you make a list of grievances when you are already petitioning for divorce. You would be surprised by how many marriages disintegrate because of small things and little irritations which a partner allowed and now can no longer stomach. Eventually that one straw breaks the camel’s back. Do all of your research right at the start.