My blogs accept advertising, ads and links Writing for more than 40 years Winner of Sunday Times Literary Award for Confessions of a Gambler
May 3, 2012
Should you go out with the guy your sister dumped even when she says it’s okay
It’s a bad idea to date your sister’s ex-lover even when she says it won’t bother her and that it would be all right. People say things and they mean it at that moment but because this is someone she’s been with before a situation may arise in the future when she realizes that she has made a mistake. If there was to be a relationship in between where both sisters dated other people and it was ten years later, that might be a different thing. Still, people have long memories when it comes to a man they’ve fallen in love with and the situation can change any time.
Possible repercussions if you decide to date him
• There might be a time when your sister comes to the house and there is no one home except him and you get to talking, remembering the time when you were together, and you realize that you had made a mistake and now want him back. This will create a huge rift in the family. You are sisters before you are someone elses woman. When the man has been with both sisters and knows them intimately, a line’s been crossed and the relationship between the sisters will never be the same again.
• The first sister will say she was his woman first. The other sister will say she has him now. The relationship between the two sisters will be destroyed and neither one will get him – if he is worth getting. One just cannot step into a relationship between two sisters; it is not your business and you have no right.
• The man will be totally confused and if he has any sense he would leave the sisters alone before he destroys everything. No matter who the parties are, dating someone who has been with someone else in the family before is just not on.
It is never a good idea to date one another person's ex boyfriends. There are memories of the old relationship. You remember things. You imagine that it can work again for the two of you and so you want to give it another try irrespective of whether you hurt your own sister. Your sister had meant it when she said it did not matter and that it would not hurt her, but she has no one now and wants him back. What eventually happens is that the sisters break up with the man and also break up with each other. No one wins. The question to ask is, how can the relationship work if there is infidelity and betrayal? You can’t come between sisters.
Does Ice love Coco
Ice is mostly known for his rap music and playing a cop in a television series, and always struck me as a tough guy; someone who can defend himself in any situation. He can be so tough at times that you really believe he's a hater. And then Coco comes into his life with her stilettos and her slinky dress, and the rapper is transfixed and transformed. Together with the bulldog which has attitude they make the perfect threesome. But I’m curious about the blond reality star. I want to know if she can cook besides doing the samba, and if she knows how to look after a man - what her values are and if she is only a sexy kitten who curls up in his arm with the bulldog fighting between them to get a canine kiss.
I am presently surprised. She not only serves up delicious snacks which have taken time to make, she adds little things to it to make a good presentation. She absolutely caters to the rapper who just laps it up. Truth be told, she has changed Ice. Who would have thought that the Ice Man would melt so fast and stay married for so long? Ten years they are together. They live their life in public for the moment, but the more I check Coco out the more I think she’s a really fun and great person besides being a good wife. Not that he needed to be changed, but he needed a little softening up. They renewed their vows and he had a big splash for her. I can say that she transformed Ice and he’s a lovable teddy bear now.
But what about the Kardashians? I don't know what they are famous for. Did one of them win a literary prize, made the Guinness Book of Records, or helped people in Africa? Is it their long hair and their connection to famous people that we have to know who they are? Surely we cannot be interested in the thoughts of women who go on all day long about their love life, their morning routine, the new guy they are dating, who’s going to have the next baby, on and on. For all the talk around her buttocks, it is rarely filmed. She always faces the camera. I must really be getting old because I don’t understand the hoopla. Do we watch the show because there’s an OJ connection and now suddenly they’re famous too?
Is there such a thing as a no-budget film
The answer is no. From the moment you open your mouth to start talking about making a no-budget film to people who might join your crew, the meter starts. A lot of filmmakers don't take the most important ingredient for successful filmmaking into account; the budget. The crew has to eat. You have to have three meals a day catered. You have to have one or two hot meals, sandwiches if you work late, snacks, coffee, tea, water, and lots of cigarettes. If your crew is not going to get paid, you must at least have food and lots of it. The creative process needs nourishment.
If I had a dime for every film student who has an idea for making a no-budget film I could go and watch a movie or two this afternoon. People think it’s easy until they come to the set and see the equipment strewn around, the chaos, some of the crew meeting for the first time. They want to know how much they are going to get paid. There is no pay. You work for a credit in the film. You ask someone to help with the script. You are the producer, the director, the runner and you have a humongous amount of paperwork. You think because you got a good deal on renting a big vacant house in the woods that you can make a horror movie for free as there are only two outside scenes and no one is around asking for a film permit. What about film stock? What about lighting? What about the guy borrowing the van to pick up another crew member and they run out of petrol? And what about the food? As people stand around and talk and wait and set up shooting the first scenes, they are already waiting for a break to have coffee and muffins and sandwiches and you have no money to pay for it.
So what is this notion that one can make a no-budget film? There is no such thing. You can make a low budget film, yes, and you can make a film that costs as little as a used car, but there is no film you can make without spending money, and there is no free lunch. The clock ticks as soon as the horses are out the gate. A sharp new producer with a five-man crew made a stunning 20-minute short film which won a prize at a festival. He told me that the most important thing to budget for in any film is the food. The cost for making the short film was roughly $31,000 US. It won a prize, they watched it a hundred times, and no distributors picked it up. There were no deals. Making a film is an interesting experience, but the process is tough. You have to start off with a good script and spend months in preparation. You have to audition. You have to ask friends to star in your film. They tell their families. Everyone turns up on the set. You have to have food!
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