Is there life after a split with the person you love
Yes, there is, depending on the amount of emotional and
psychological damage accumulated over the years and how many times one must forgive
the same mistakes. Some parties can take forever to forgive and punish you over
and over for the same infraction and others are not interested in your tale of
woe and pack your things while you are still at work so that you do not have to
return to the house to get them. Whichever way that is done, breaking up is
hard to do, is hard for the kids, and can be handled with less malice and more compassion
and understanding.
In the old days
Unfortunately, relationships for the most part do not get the
kind of analysis and marital repair that grandmothers and grandfathers used to
indulge in. They call a family meeting of the brothers and sisters of the
couple and everyone puts in their sixpence’s worth. Sometimes these methods were well received and
the couple tried harder and sometimes you were told to mind your own business.
Still, the parents offered a way for the couple to meet and do some repair work
on their relationship and tried to help.
Workshop your breakup
·
Treat the discussion as if you want to repair
your relationship rather than just take your things and split. The other party
will see it as you not caring whether you are in the relationship or not. And
if you are not you should be honest and tell him or her that it definitely does
not work for you anymore. Do not keep the person hanging on.
·
Have the same respect for the other person that
you had when first entering the relationship. Do not raise your voice during
the discussion, wait for a break in the conversation before you jump in and
smile occasionally to show that you are not bitter and trying to handle it. The
worst thing you can do is fling out some past behaviour to make the other person
look bad.
·
Try your grandmother’s advice by asking her
outright during the meeting what she thinks. She will be flattered that you
seek her advice and that her advice still matters to you and will tell you the
best thing to do. Trust me. David Letterman still asks for his mother’s advice.
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