Apr 5, 2013

Is there life after a split with the person you love

Is there life after a split with the person you love

Yes, there is, depending on the amount of emotional and psychological damage accumulated over the years and how many times one must forgive the same mistakes. Some parties can take forever to forgive and punish you over and over for the same infraction and others are not interested in your tale of woe and pack your things while you are still at work so that you do not have to return to the house to get them. Whichever way that is done, breaking up is hard to do, is hard for the kids, and can be handled with less malice and more compassion and understanding.

In the old days
Unfortunately, relationships for the most part do not get the kind of analysis and marital repair that grandmothers and grandfathers used to indulge in. They call a family meeting of the brothers and sisters of the couple and everyone puts in their sixpence’s worth.  Sometimes these methods were well received and the couple tried harder and sometimes you were told to mind your own business. Still, the parents offered a way for the couple to meet and do some repair work on their relationship and tried to help.

Workshop your breakup
·         Treat the discussion as if you want to repair your relationship rather than just take your things and split. The other party will see it as you not caring whether you are in the relationship or not. And if you are not you should be honest and tell him or her that it definitely does not work for you anymore. Do not keep the person hanging on. 

·         Have the same respect for the other person that you had when first entering the relationship. Do not raise your voice during the discussion, wait for a break in the conversation before you jump in and smile occasionally to show that you are not bitter and trying to handle it. The worst thing you can do is fling out some past behaviour to make the other person look bad.

·         Try your grandmother’s advice by asking her outright during the meeting what she thinks. She will be flattered that you seek her advice and that her advice still matters to you and will tell you the best thing to do. Trust me. David Letterman still asks for his mother’s advice. 

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