If you have had a long term relationship and it has come to an end after ten or more years, it is understandable that you would want to overcome the past and reinvent yourself. Realistically though, the best place to start is to first come to terms with what has happened in the relationship which has just ended and after some soul searching, go through the grieving stages and put it behind you. It is no use overhauling your wardrobe and you don’t overhaul your thinking. It is important that you get rid of your baggage and not bring it into any new relationship you might have.
• Start with a clean slate. Pretend you’re a stranger and ask yourself what went wrong with the relationship you were in. Be honest with your answers. You want to get through this first stage before meeting someone else. Also, you don’t want to launch into a new relationship right away. You want to be cautious this time around.
• To give yourself a whole new makeover for the new you, change your hairdresser and ask the new one to give you a perky look. If your hair is long and a little boring, she could give you a tint and a trim to give you a fresh appearance.
• If you have never worn lipstick, go out and buy a really hot color and put it on.
• If you are wearing skirts and blouses all the time, it will get a little monotonous and you can have three tailored suits made for the office you can rotate with different silk blouses and look professional every day. You want your clothes to look smart for the office, yet funky.
• Read some books on how to raise your self-esteem and go out and practice your new attitude on your friends. Don’t believe that anyone is better than you. Raise your confidence by reading books and reading articles such as the one you are reading now and learn how to be assertive. Men like women who know what they want; don’t be afraid to make friends.
• If you have never worn perfume, spend an afternoon at the perfume counter and go through the testers for a fragrance that suits your personality.
• It doesn’t hurt to tone up a little either by going for walks for half an hour. Most of all, you want the results of your overhaul to reflect your easy personality and your attractive look.
My blogs accept advertising, ads and links Writing for more than 40 years Winner of Sunday Times Literary Award for Confessions of a Gambler
Apr 25, 2012
Nourish your soul and turn hate into love
Are you by nature arrogant, ego driven and one who starves your soul by rushing through life? Are you a bitter individual with negative energy who can’t see the forest for the trees and always complain about how life is treating you? Are you rude and resentful and your friends are just plain tired of your egotistical manner, wishing you would not contaminate their space with your negative energy? It’s a sure sign that you have neglected the spiritual part of your life. Why not change and change the environment around you?
Read up on a different virtue every day
When you turn your back on some of the virtues of life your soul suffers and starves for positive energy. Make up your mind to be positive no matter what your circumstances. Read a book called the Virtues of Life and see how kindness, compassion, respect, the power of the word ‘please’ can help you, and other kindnesses can change who you are. When you are kind to others you attract kindness to you. When we eat on the run, always hurrying for that lost dollar, we don’t appreciate our surroundings and have no time for anyone.
Here are some ways to experience the best that life has to offer
• Meditate every day in a quiet place for twenty minutes. If you can’t think of what to say just say thank you, God, thank you God over and over again until you feel something changing in you – and even if all you do is just thank God.
• Take an early leisurely walk along the shore breathing in the beauty of the mountains and the sea. Thank God for the beauty of His Handiwork.
• Listen to classical music. ‘Mozart’s Requiem for a Mass’ is a good pick. Don’t choose Rachmaninoff’s ‘Funeral March’. It is a heavy dirge.
• When you wake up in the morning say thank you to God for another day.
• Give a beggar in the street a crisp twenty rand note. Don’t worry about what he will spend it on.
• Eat some brain food that consists of nuts and fruit and yogurt and feel light and energized.
• Bake an almond cake and relish in the aroma in the house.
• Rent a Chris Rock video and laugh.
• Spend extra time with your kids and once a week rent a movie the whole family can watch.
• Jot down some things you wish to do the following day and do it.
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