There are so many ways to spoil a first date by not being spontaneous and having enough to say and not preparing properly for such an exciting yet nervous event. Anyone who has been on a first note knows the adrenalin coursing through the body those first few minutes when you meet. You are filled with apprehension and wondering what this person will look like, what she has to offer, and whether this is just another first date in a string of bad ones. Your list for what you want in a woman is so long that even you know that you cannot fulfill it. You have had lots of first dates and all of them have fallen by the roadside. You have adjusted your thinking since then somewhat but you still have great expectations. Here are some suggestions to make you feel more at ease.
• Forget everything you have read and been told. Take off the pressure and relax. You are looking for a potential mate; you are not having a meeting with the Prime Minister of Britain.
• It is said that one knows the psychological make up of any new person one meets within twenty seconds of meeting them. In that twenty seconds the body and the mind has assessed and responded to those first emotions. Trust yourself. Whatever you forget in this nervous first meeting will rise to the surface later on for more leisurely analysis.
• Don’t be afraid to show your vulnerability. Men deep down want honesty although they also want to respond to the woman’s physical attributes. You are there for a date which hopefully will lead to other things and eventually marriage.
• Don’t stress while you are on this date; rely on your playful nature to keep the conversation witty and funny and to show that you are not a one-dimensional character.
• Give her a gift. Receiving a little gift on a first date means a lot to a woman providing it’s not a gift hastily bought at the pharmacy – and if the gift is a little daisy for her hair or any small gift that intrigues her, it will warm her heart towards you. A thoughtful little gift can do many wonders. My daughter’s husband recently had a birthday, and he did not want any presents. Instead he bought gifts for her to thank her and to say how much he loves her and how she is caring for their kids.
• Don’t show how clever you are by quoting from the books of famous characters. Men love women who are a little playful and don’t take themselves too seriously.
My blogs accept advertising, ads and links Writing for more than 40 years Winner of Sunday Times Literary Award for Confessions of a Gambler
Apr 16, 2012
In real estate a picture says a thousand words
It tells you either that the current owners cared nothing for the property, or that the owner has taken particular pleasure in his home and loves gardening from all the blooming roses at the side of the house, and that it is probably a house he should take a look at. You want to stir him to the point where he comes out to see the property and get excited. A well designed brochure will do that. The client needs visuals.
Brochures are perfect for an agent who has a lot of clients and no time to waste. He has visuals of the different rooms, the garden, the background, and enough information to answer any question. A well organized agent with the right plan can make a big difference in sales. Brochures and videos are also good ways to filter out properties clients are not interested in. In real estate, a picture says a thousand words and a brochure sells a property; well, almost. There is a lot of work to be done.
Take into account what the woman wants
When buying or selling a house, don’t underestimate the wife. Women pore over brochures and by the time they go out to see the house it is mostly to confirm that what the brochure promises is in the house and that there are no hidden defects. Women have their own ideas of what they want and which for her are the favorite parts of the house; a nice big kitchen, a roomy living room, a bathroom with a Japanese bath, a writer’s nook or sewing room which can be converted for her where she can spend time on her own to relax.
It therefore makes complete sense to spend a little money on designing visually interesting brochures and provide information like tax, bond payments, and fees and so on. When taking shots of the house remember that the exterior shot is the first one the prospective buyer will want to see. Don’t use the same angle. Take a variety of wide, medium and long shots. Take close ups of the flowers on the porch. If you have a new Japanese bath installed, take some pictures from different angles and include it. The brochure helps in both establishing a relationship with the client and securing referrals and also purchasing a house.
The journey we don't prepare for
It is uncanny that when someone dies and we attend the funeral we are starkly reminded of the gift of life and what is at the end of the line for all of us. We take life for granted. We don’t ‘save up’ good deeds when we are in the midst of life because we don’t spend much time thinking about it. During our lifetime we save up money in the bank for future needs; we don’t save up good deeds and kindnesses to take with us to the grave. My late South African grandmother, a very religious woman who died decades ago, was quite unique. Like all the older people of her time, she had bought her own burial cloth and had it in a special section of the bedroom cupboard. She told us children to remember that when she dies we are to look for the dried rose leaves and the kafan – white linen burial cloth – in the box in the back of the cupboard. She was mindful and religious and thankful for every day of her life.
On the weekend we had a death in the family and as Muslim funerals go, my stepmother passed on in the morning, and a few hours later she was in the ground. The Muslim funeral machine goes into full operation when someone dies. One person takes care of signing the papers and getting the body from the hospital. Another person takes care of getting benches and chairs and removing all furniture from one of the bedrooms and setting up the kat’l – the metal bath on which the body will be placed for the washing ritual. Food is ordered. An imam is contacted. Muslim radio is informed so that the news can go out. The mosque is on alert that a funeral will take place at whatever time is stipulated – sometimes at night. Everything works with clockwork precision getting the planks, the kafan, ordering food – always there must be food – and everyone knowing exactly what is required of him to facilitate a smooth funeral. Only when you are standing in the room paying your last respects to your deceased relative do you think about your own death, and you vow to lead a more spiritual life. There are prayers on the third night, the fortieth night, and on the hundredth night. When the hundred days are over, you have forgotten everything – until later, when it is your turn, to lay on the kat’l.
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