Have you suffered in almost every relationship, whether it was
professional or romantic because of fear? Do you freeze before an interview? Do
you inadvertently wreck a relationship because you come across as needy and
insecure? Well, you can change it all by changing the way you think and
influencing your brain. Anxiety starts in the brain. You become hot and sweaty.
You feel like you’re going to choke. When you don’t nip this in the bud right
away, it becomes full-blown fear. And really, when you think about it, fear is
just a four-letter word; how much can it hurt? It can hurt a lot and to the
point where you choke up with and think you are going to pass out or die. You
have an urgent need to pee or throw up, and become even more afraid by the
proximity of people in the life, squirming and suffering and feeling so
claustrophobic that you want to break down the elevator door.
Owning your fear
A writer posted a comment on my blog recently to tell me
that she had so much anxiety that she was afraid to leave the house. I took the
time to write to her and respond. She wrote me back to thank me for the article
because she felt it had helped her. Fear is like that. It can come upon you
suddenly, but it can also dissipate at the same rate. Your first thing to do
here is own your fear. Have some time alone at home and think about your fear.
Stretch the discomfort of revisiting those memories and images until breaking
point. You will see afterwards that nothing has happened; that the sun is still
shining and no one has harmed you. Own your fear. Thank your fear for having
been with you for so many years. Thank your fear for being your protector. Tell
your fear that you are grateful for what you have learned and how it has armed
you, but that it is time now to say goodbye.
Mantra for change
When you get up in the morning, first thing is to thank God
for another day you have survived. Thank God for providing you with protection
all the years. Tell your fears not to worry about you anymore and then firmly
and gently tell your fears that you can manage your life without its assistance
now and that you want it to go away. Of course, you are talking to yourself,
and are reaffirming certain things you want in your life. You are also creating
a reverberation in the atmosphere. With the advent of the internet and
instantaneous messaging, technology today has provided a way, with the click of
a button, to give instant comfort. For that reason and no other, this writer is
writing articles and not working as much as she should on finishing writing her
new book.
