My blogs accept advertising, ads and links Writing for more than 40 years Winner of Sunday Times Literary Award for Confessions of a Gambler
Apr 19, 2012
Mistakes women often make with men
• A woman meets a new man she is attracted to and if he is attracted to her too she is all over him, wants her friends to meet him, and invites him over almost immediately for coffee and to come and meet her folks. She wants everyone to see the great guy she is dating without knowing anything much about him.
• She immediately spoils him by buying tickets for the Lakers game or some other sport and smothers him by being around all the time. He does not have to do very much in the relationship to get what he wants.
• If she manages to hold the man’s interest by the third week she knows the color of his bed sheets before she knows what kind of work he does except ‘something in insurance’ which she did not bother to confirm.
• Because of his sustained interest in her, she does not do a background check and has no idea if he lives where he says he does.
• She is still hurting from her previous relationship and is needy and clingy and emotionally inept. She wants to know when he is going to put a ring on her finger.
• Her biological clock is ticking and she talks all the time about how much she would like to have a baby to complete her relationship which has scarcely been over a month.
• She becomes used to the relationship and no longer surprises him at the door dressed in her skimpy nurse’s uniform which she wore when she used to play doctor and nurse. There is no element of surprise.
• She trusts him immediately and suggests a joint account at the bank, which she figures will make them a couple, and is a totally stupid thing to do. She allows him to buy a stereo and an iPod on the card because in her mind they will be together forever.
• When he takes too long talking about his feelings and that he does not want a permanent relationship, she offers him a place to stay and buys him gifts.
• He moves in, does not pay for his portion of the rent, makes no contribution to the grocery bill, and in fact now comes to her when he needs money.
• She loses her man and the money and ends up in front of Judge Mathis trying to get it back.
What is your purpose in life
Do you know? Have you thought about it? Is it one of your life questions? We are all here for a reason, and we are all here to learn something that will take us out of ourselves and serve others. We are not here just to exist for a few seasons and take up space. We are here to learn and give back. But what is it that you give back? Have you found out? Has it come to you? I have been asking myself this question for many years, and just like everything else it was right under my nose. If you want to know your purpose in life start with some questions as to who you are and who or what inspires you the most – what you do with your time – what you are doing today and if it is any different than the day before – whether you have learned any lessons and changed something about yourself – how you can contribute. One thing is for sure; you did not land on this page by accident. Already you are reading an article on man’s purpose on earth.
Preparation in childhood
My reason for being here, I believe, is to open up new avenues for people so that they may be able to help themselves. I supply information in the form of books, articles, novels and films. I believe that my ability to write and share information has a lot to do with my curiosity about God and what it is that God wants from me. I am meant to be curious in order to research and supply information wherever I can. I believe that my preoccupation with the scriptures – not only about Islam but all faiths – was instilled in me at a very young age and that I have always been curious about God, and especially the subject of death and what happens to the soul afterwards. These curiosities lead me to write and in turn provide answers to questions. For instance, if I was interested in the accumulation of money I would not be interested in writing for the internet where I might get two cents for an article like this instead of a large advance for my next novel.
Terrified of close spaces
Here is a snippet of my childhood when I was six years old and my grandfather had a heart attack and collapsed in front of me; the house filled up with people, and our mother was next door helping and keeping vigil through the night and I heard the owls hoot in the tall pine trees. I was terrified of the dark. I am terrified of close spaces. For me they were all signs of being buried alive. Within a few days or weeks of my grandfather’s funeral, the new born twins died next door. I was angry with God, yet terrified of what He would do if He could read my thoughts. Today I connect the dots and understand what is going on. If I did not go through this horrifying experience as a six year old, if I did not scribble my fear in books, if I did not suffer panic attacks at family funerals, I might not have been a writer today. God prepares us for everything. Life is a process; it takes time to get things right.
Advantages and disadvantages of polygamy
Here is a scenario: a forty year old male is married to a lovely girl in her late thirties who has tried forever to fall pregnant. She has had all kind of fertility treatment and nothing has worked. She has a best friend, also in her thirties, who is also a friend to the husband; all three are good friends. The wife asks her best friend to become the husband’s wife as she cannot conceive and desperately wants a baby. If the wife is prepared to share her husband and the husband agrees, and the country you are living in allows it, is it wrong to take a second wife? Women feel unfulfilled if they cannot bear children. They want the experience of motherhood. On the other hand, women are also selfish and do not want to share a man. Selfish may sound like a harsh word when you consider the parties are legally married, but the numbers are climbing and according to statistics there are more women than men. If a couple is prepared to bring a third person into the marriage and everything is by consent, is it wrong, uncivilized, illegal, or is it a situation only the parties involved can decide? Let’s use the above situation as an example.
• According to the Holy Book of the Muslims, if the parties mentioned above are all in agreement and all parties are satisfied and the man accepts the children of the women he has married as his own, it is allowed. Remember, however, that God does not recommend it. God says man cannot be fair and so it is better for him to have only one partner, but if circumstances permit, as in the case above, it is allowed. The advantage here is that the woman now has a husband, shelter, protection, and love for her children who would otherwise have been destitute. She is now also protected by the sanctity of marriage.
• People change their mind or they have problems between them and the first wife decides that she can no longer be in an arrangement where there is another mother for the child, and becomes jealous and wants to take the child with her even though she is not the biological mother. If she is a generous first wife, it can work. If she is not, it will be unfair to the child or children who will be split up with parents who are fighting over them. Having said this, however, it is all up to the parties involved and only they can decide what is good and right for them. Women don’t easily give up their children; it will be a feud to the end.
Polygamy can only work if the parties take their vows seriously and the husband is fair – hence the advice from God to not take more than one wife if you cannot be fair to both of them. It is common knowledge that many prophets had many wives and that during the Battle of Uhud a lot of men were killed in the battle and the women were left unprotected. The Holy Prophet Muhamad got the instruction from God to tell his followers that a man who could give a woman shelter and have her kids protected, would be allowed to marry more than one woman – and only up to four. Hopefully this dispels the notion that Muslims can just marry out of hand. They can marry another woman, yes, but with the following in mind – that while it is allowed it is not recommended.
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