Mar 7, 2012


Ending churlish behavior There is no question that parents have to be on the same page as their children when it comes to teaching them what is right and what is wrong. There can’t be two voices on discipline. Parents have to stand together and reinforce the behavior they want to impart to their kids. Kids are quick to take advantage of any situation. A five year old child who tosses his spaghetti across the room and screams at the top of his lungs, is looking for attention. If he gets it, he is likely to repeat his bad behavior. If he does not, he will cry until he gets the attention. Some parents find this cute. The child is quick to pick up on the parent’s response. If both parents do not immediately make him aware of his position in the family, his unwanted behavior, the rules, and that the same rules apply to everyone, you will lose your position as the person in charge and your child will be running things. Putting measures in place What you can do first as a parent is look at your own disciplining methods and make note of where you have gone wrong. Be brutal in your assessment and the part you played in your child’s continuing recalcitrance. Have you been instrumental in allowing little Johnny to get his way? Is uttering the word sorry enough to forgive him? Today when you discipline kids, all they say is sorry, and they repeat the behavior again. Saying sorry without meaning it does not serve anyone, least of all the child. Have you allowed it? Do you give in to the child just to get him to stop screaming? Just saying sorry should come with consequences. Getting tough • Write out the rules of the house in point blank form and post it on the fridge. Let the points be short so it only requires one page, • Withhold allowance for the week if chores are not completed, • Limit television time and playing with computer games to one or two hours, • Ask to see the homework they have done, • Call a timeout if there is an argument over something and they can’t all agree, • If one of your kids get cheeky, and tells you that he is not going to his room, put him there immediately and tell him that you have added an extra hour to his time, • If you make a rule and it is not obeyed, give an extra chore for not doing his work or listening to you, • Have a big punishment such as cleaning the yard or clearing away the snow for those who are not listening and are too big for their boots, • Reward a child with a movie ticket or a book if he has done all his chores and done well with his homework. There are many ways to love and discipline kids. We have all made mistakes, but have learned from our experiences. No one likes a rude or mouthy kid, and just saying sorry is not enough. Back it up with intent.