Dear Diary … Ian and Dan

It is Wednesday, the worst day of the week to go out in the fog and clean up the mess of two teenage millionaire geeks. Theirs is not the usual mess of pizza boxes and beer bottles; rather the mess is a result of all the drinking and binging. The parents are weak and the sons have control of the house, the business, and their father’s money. While they make a good looking pair in their suits when they actually put on something that resembles a pants and a shirt, they are not cut out for the corporate world and the mess I have to contend with besides vacuuming and cleaning the house and telling lies on their behalf, is that I am part of a secret because the boys have no sense and frankly do not care if the house comes tumbling down at their feet.

Their names are Ian and Dan, tall lanky lads with long hair, wearing glasses. The secret I’m talking about is what they do on Wednesday afternoons when I am at their house cleaning up. I am ordered by them to clean the living room and the bedrooms first when I come to the house. Ian is the computer whiz and can do research, buy and sell anything on the internet. Dan is the sleaze. He also wears glasses but is a much better-looking guy than his brother. Dan gets the girls.

On Wednesday afternoons after lunch when their parents are both at work, the doorbell rings and Dan answers the door. Five minutes later four girls arrive – American, Australian, Japanese and an English rose. They wear cheerleader outfits consisting of a quarter Tshirt and bottoms with an ultra short white frill, and start to dance on two poles, sliding up and down showing off their perky bottoms. Ian and Dan lie back on the beds and watch the girls perform. They are actually eating popcorn and laughing like kids. The girls start to kiss and they laugh like schoolboys. They can do anything with each other, but they can’t touch. At four, the girls put their clothes back on and Ian, the money man, hands them a wad of money.

The first time I caught them they begged me not to tell their parents. Getting their fortune at eighteen depended on their behaviour and how they did at school. Their father and mother who knew nothing about the dancing afternoons were not money wasters or insensitive to the boys; they were just tired of the boys wearing them out with their pranks. I told them that I felt uncomfortable not telling their parents and did not want to lose my job. Oh, don’t worry about that, Ian said. There’s more where that came from. Dan and I will pay twice what they pay you. You do a good job, luv. What if your father finds out, I wanted to know? He’ll say I knew all the time and did not tell him. Dan laughed. There you go again, Annie. If you lose your job, Dan and I will employ you. Do you want to come with us for an early supper at The Trailer Park Lounge and Grill?

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