Dealing with kids after their father leaves

 

The first minutes after a final break-up must surely be the hardest thing for a partner to do and when there are children involved, it is even harder. You don’t know where to begin. A break-up of a marriage is a catastrophic event and can have a devastating impact on children. A three-year-old might not know what is going on, but will experience the altered mood and behavior of his mother. He will also notice the absence of his father. He will ask questions. If his mother is upset and can’t answer his questions, he will fear that there will be no one to look after him and he will be alone. Worse, the child might blame himself for the break-up.

Ways to handle and reassure your children

1                    Put your emotions on hold and talk to your children in private. Reassure them that their father loves them, and that they are not to blame.

2                    Tell them that while their father has left the house, he has not left them. He will always be their father.

3                    Tell them that they will see their father on weekends, if that is so, and perhaps also during the week. They can also call their father anytime they need to speak to him.

4                    Don’t go into the mechanics of divorce and what it means, but explain that their father won’t be staying at the house anymore.

5                    Don’t discuss their father with them in a negative way; you don’t want the kids to hate him.

6                    If their father has an addiction problem, don’t discuss it.

7                    Don’t get into the reasons why their father left. It is not their business and too much information for them.

8                    Don’t take them into your confidence and tell them what their father has done. It is not a good idea to discuss private and intimate matters with them anyway, they will feel responsible.

9                    Don’t tell them that they take after their father and are just like him; you will make them feel bad.

10                Don’t change your routine in the house. Kids are used to familiarity.

11                If you have had story-telling time an hour before bedtime, continue to do so.

12                Don’t make any child of yours the ‘man of the house’. The responsibility is too great.

To be sure, the first weeks of a separation are the hardest; not only for you, but for them. Spend extra time at night with them when you put them to bed and tell them that everything will be just as before, that their father loves them and will still come to all their activities. The care with which you guide and love your children through this trying time will make a big difference in their lives.

The Misery of Yeast Infection

The most common symptom of a yeast infection is itching in the vagina. Other symptoms of a yeast infection include burning, soreness, painful sex and vaginal discharge. The discharge is odorless and has a whitish, thick and slimy appearance. Some women are prone to yeast infections and experience pain and a sharp burning sensation when passing urine. Besides the pain, there is also the added worry that she might have contracted a sexually transmitted disease from a past boyfriend and is infected.

Recurrent yeast infections are not uncommon and may be related to an underlying illness and may require more aggressive treatment than over-the-counter remedies. Consulting a doctor first is the best thing. Diagnosis, however, is not always easy and medication is prescribed. When the medication does not work, the patient ends up back at the doctor’s office. Why? Because antibiotics do not only kill the bad germs; they kill everything, including the lining of her private parts. Your doctor may take a specimen scraped from the affected area for microscopic analysis to make a firm diagnosis and to rule out any other causes.

Yeast Infection Facts

Antibiotics mess up the ecosystem in your body and it baffles this author how quickly a doctor will prescribe an antibiotic for a common cold or flu. Antibiotics can only kill bacteria; it can't kill a virus. If you feel better after taking an antibiotic, it is just the natural course of the virus leaving your body. Doctors should know this. If they don't and prescribe medication without knowing your medical history they are doing guess work and it is not in your best interests.

A doctor needs to have your medical history and act upon the information. You could find yourself prone to yeast infections simply because of the antibiotics taken. Is it a quick fix that you need? Will Monistat do the trick? You have to know for sure which it is.  Maybe it is time to consult a different practitioner. Vaginal itching or burning is not a joke and if left untreated, will get worse. Always determine first if there are natural cures in plain yogurts and other foods as doctor visits can be costly. Also take a look at your lifestyle. Are your pants too tight? Do you sit in a bath of water frequently? See what changes you can make to facilitate a stress-free life and bring your yeast infections under control.

My daughter’s personal hair loss story

 My daughter said she once believed that it was a natural part of life to lose some hair as you aged. Only men lost hair was the thinking; women didn’t have to worry until after menopause – and by that point losing your hair would be the norm. However, she started losing her hair by the time she was thirty at a rapid rate. She had lustrous hair, and thick, and never worried when hair would fall out due to brushing or blow drying.

One day she noticed more hair left behind in the brush. She thought it was because she was using a new shampoo. She changed the shampoo but the problem persisted and she would notice hair on her arms and shoulders. It got to a point where a strand of hair felt like the heaviest thing in the world because it was a reminder that she was losing her hair and fast. She would see bald spots at the front of her crown. When she put her hair in a pony tail the elastic band would slide out on its own because of its new sparseness. She couldn't let this go on and had to find a solution.

Getting to the Root of the Problem

She started reading every piece of information on hair loss. She went to dermatologists, family doctors, acupuncturists, naturopaths, the whole nine yards. She was given various shampoos, steroid creams and treatments which only made matters worse. Her scalp was now sore as well. Everyday felt worse than the day before until she noticed that she lost more hair after eating certain foods. She hooked onto a new soy food kick and bought a lot of foods that contained it. It was a healthy alternative to eating red meat she thought. She found that soy was one of the worst allergens.

She then read about the damage of sugar and found out that certain sugar foods were making her scalp sore and causing hair to fall out. It was so hard for her to give up these sugar foods because she lived on them and would exercise every second night just so she wouldn't feel guilty about indulging in ice-cream before bedtime She needed a good book to keep her on track, and found it. Within a week, her scalp stopped hurting, her hair stopped falling out and the skin on her forehead and face started to feel softer.

She started to use fragrant-free shampoo and soaps and toiletry products and reversed her hair loss by making proactive changes in her life. She didn't accept this hair condition because of her age and warns against miracle drugs and shampoos and advise that you look for natural solutions. Get your information from the right sources. Information is everything. Stay on the right path with the right information. Leave a comment if you have anything to add or have any questions.