Successfully preserving your relationship

The first thing that both parties have to understand is that a relationship is not only about one person. There are two people whose needs have to be met, and both of you have to try your best to give each other what they want. Here are some tips for preserving a loving and healthy relationship.

• Discuss your needs with your partner; he or she cannot read your mind. Often relationships fail because partners are unrealistic and not straight about what they desire. Be specific.
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• If you have a dispute about something, try to look at it from the other person’s point of view and see if you understand it better.
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• Be clear about what you want in a relationship. Perhaps you find this hard to do because you don’t know it yourself.
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• Be willing to compromise and don’t sweat the small things.
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• Keep the relationship fresh by doing some of the earlier things you had always done together. Go out, have fun, be ordinary free human beings.
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• Don’t forget the little gifts of flowers and chocolates you once bought for one another. This goes a long way to telling your partner that you still love him or her.
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• Let your guy go out with the boys on poker night and you go out with the girls to do some of the fun things you always did together. Each of you having side interests is good for a relationship.
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• Negotiate everything by sitting down and working through any grievances you might have. If the argument is bigger than both of you, agree to see a counselor who can work with you through the problem and provide a solution.
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• Don’t try to change your partner from the man or woman he or she was when you first met. Forcing someone to change causes resentment and is not a good idea.
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• Surprise your partner now and again with tickets for the basketball game. Be spontaneous and take opportunities when you can to keep your relationship alive. Put your partner first and you will never go wrong.

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